"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong,firm and steadfast."
1 Peter 5:10
This school year has been rough for me. I have changed and matured tremendously and I continue to grow in this season of life through college. I have made sacrifices and decisions that have been hard for me; I've learned whats needed in life and whats not. My sophomore year here in Mobile has been tough emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Every night before I go to bed, I pray that God strengthens these areas and protects these areas of my life.
At the beginning of the school year it was extremely hard. Not only was I worried about pulling up my grades, I was starting a new relationship long distance and starting my RA life out. August, though it was stressful, it was okay. N and I started the journey of being a couple and school wasn't all that tough. Being a Resident Assistant of 80 residents in a outside building sucks though. It has been one of the hardest, most frustrating things I've ever done. When September got here, along with all the RA madness, I got mono. Which in my book is pretty much the demon of all demons that can attack a social, busy, stressed RA like me! I have never been through something health wise like mono! It was a month of being in and out of the ER, getting my arm poke with stupid thick needles, and feeling like someone was slowly killing me. I was achy and uncomfortable, itchy and freezing, nauseous and exhausted for almost two months. I never wish this upon anyone! Don't even ask me about the blisters in my throat and the whelps on my body that would come and go. It hurt to even go to the bathroom... The worse thing is, its been 7 months and I still don't feel 100%. Along with this disease from hell, it has caused a lot of other issues (in my opinion). My heart is weird now, I gained weight from being too sick to do anything, and lymph nodes start to ache when I get exhausted or stressed. Lets just say my health right now is not very superb.
Soon after, and basically during me having the worse thing ever, one of my brothers passed away. It was so tragic and out of the blue. I don't know if my family will ever really get over it. My brother's best friend, best man, other half, and brother left us last September. It's been super rough on my family. This was a 23 old guy was a part of our family. Who spent summers, and years living with us. He was my other older brother. He was goofy and sarcastic, witty and sweet. He bullied me, loved me, and took up for me like my own brother. We had a love/hate relationship like siblings, and he almost never let me tag along. He was my other older brother for sure. Its hard, I'm not with my family to mourn and the people here do not even know him. It has made me such an emotional person, which I tend not to be. I cry when I see a funeral procession go by, I cry when I read or see things about him, I cry when I see something he would like or think of something he would have said, and I cry when I hear about someone dying. Death sucks, though it is necessary and does happens, It sometimes happens too soon for a person.
This year a lot has happen and its difficult because I am on my own basically. I am blessed though for the people God has put in my life though to get me through this all. I know my sadness won't last forever and this pain will go away. All because my God died for my sins and I filled with grace everyday.
